Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize