seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
