I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
