It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
