you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
