i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
