your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please come you make the beer taste better
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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