hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
