He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
