Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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