when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
even my farts smell like vagina
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
