where am i from again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
