My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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