Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
jump out the window naked night went bad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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