I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
