I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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