Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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