I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize