Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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