but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
