remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
