You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
