found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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