I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Enjoy the penises
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize