I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
