OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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