I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
