What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
