i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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