question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
