At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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