You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
