D3 body, D1 cock
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
