i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize