so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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