is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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