After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
