I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
