If you die in college, do you die in real life?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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