Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
