like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
