that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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