We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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