what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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