its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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