Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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