Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
