dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
