No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
