Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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