dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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