anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
