My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
