Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize