I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
