I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize