I wish I only lived at night.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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