Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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