True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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