So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
