Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my liver is dry heaving
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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