How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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