Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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