she was so not down for the gang bang
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
