Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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