I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
