Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
