I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
