And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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