if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
