first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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