Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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