Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
