that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
