Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize