got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
