it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Randomize
